Is sand called sand because it is between the sea and the land???? #owlup— Lane Kiffin (@Lane_Kiffin) May 2, 2017
Sitting here on a beautiful Tuesday afternoon thinking about what to write and Lane Kiffin just throws out a total mindfuck bomb. You know the old saying never bring sand to the beach? How about we tell college football coaches to never think too much into things that throws our brain into a mental pretzel.
When this happened live last night I cringed when UCLA LB/DE Takkarist McKinley dropped the "god damns" and "fucking" words on live television after being picked by the Atlanta Falcons. But after watching it a few times I'm getting goose bumps about the kid because of the energy and passion he brings. Can you imagine how hyped up Takk is in the locker room? Takk would run through a wall "to get to the damn quarterback" and I believe that. He's the perfect compliment to NFL sack leader Vic Beasley on the other side and the Falcons under Dan Quinn are building a young defense for the ages after nailing all their defensive picks the last two years.
Check out Quinn's reaction after he gets off the phone with Takk...
Quinn's fist pump tells me all I need to know. The Falcons just got a guy who has a lot of dog in him and will do everything to get to the quarterback.
My Grade: A+
PS - Also I gotta do a "Fine Me Later, Man!" shirt.
It will be interesting to see where Notre Dame quarterback DeShone Kizer gets drafted. Less than 6 months ago he was being touted as the #1 overall player. Now he has to clarify quotes he made about having Cam Newton's body with Tom Brady's mind. Not the best look by any means but I get what Kizer is saying: he wants to be the best of both.
Now I've seen guys like Mel Kiper aka "draft expert" say he's only the 6th best QB in this class. That's crazy talk when you think Kiper is a self proclaimed Notre Dame fan and he has Kizer ranked behind Tennessee's Joshua Dobbs. In what world is Dobbs the better QB? I honestly don't see one attribute or skill in which Dobbs is superior to Kizer.
Looking back at this whole process this could turn out to be a blessing for Kizer. Instead of getting drafted high by a perennial losing franchise like the Browns or Jaguars he could get scooped up by a winning franchise like the Pittsburgh Steelers and given an actual shot at success in the near future.
Finally after months of conjecture, rumors and talking heads with their hot takes we are here: the NFL Draft starts tonight.
Here is my mock draft which mocks all the rest while wearing moccasins because that's what Johnny Moxon would do at West Canaan.
1. Cleveland Browns: Myles Garrett, DE
This is the day all Cleveland fans dread. The NFL draft is just further reformation your franchise is in a never ending shitter. But I will say Garrett is the best pick here and could be the most "safe" pick. He's a day one starter. Don't fuck it up Cleveland and draft a QB.
2. San Francisco 49ers: Jamal Adams, S
This pick right here tells you how bad of a QB draft this is. The Browns and 49ers are both in desperate need of a QB and neither will touch one.
3. Chicago Bears: Soloman Thomas, DE
Don't laugh but from all the videos I've seen I think Thomas is the better pick over Garrett. Bears get themselves another Richard Dent with this pick.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars: Leonard Fournette, RB
I'm not high on Fournette and personally I would rather have Dalvin Cook if I'm picking a RB but the Jaguars seem to be all in for BUGA.
5. Tennessee Titans: Mike Williams, WR
Titans need to get Marcus Mariota a legit receiver and if you watched the National Championship game you will have noticed Clemson's Williams dominate Bama's stellar secondary.
6. New York Jets: Christian McCaffrey, RB
Ed's son can basically do it all on offense and will be called upon in the city that never sleeps. No pressure... just don't fuck it up.
7. Los Angeles Chargers: Jonathan Allen, DE/DT
LA's newest team gets a bit of luck as Bama's Allen slips to them at lucky number 7.
8. Carolina Panthers: Malik Hooker, S
Some people have compared this Hooker to Ed Reed which seems a little call girlish and premature personally.
9. Cincinnati Bengals: Marshon Lattimore, CB
It's only a matter of time before Pacman Jones spits, kicks, punches, shoots or abuses some other person so you need a backup plan. Lattimore grades out as the top corner in the draft.
10. Buffalo Bills: Kevin King, CB
The Bills want Lattimore to replace Stephon Gilmore but with him gone the pick before they go with the 2nd corner on their board in King.
11. New Orleans Saints: Haason Reddick, LB
Did you know that Reddick was a fucking walk on at Temple? Crazy right? Now here he is getting drafted in the first round.
12. Cleveland Browns: Mitchell Trubisky, QB
We finally get a QB picked and of course it's the Browns who do it. Poor little Mitchell Trubisky has no chance of winning in Cleveland. At least he will have a lot of money to drown those sorrows.
13. Arizona Cardinals: Corey Davis, WR
Fitzgerald is no spring chicken and Michael Floyd is still driving drunk somewhere so the Cardinals need to get Carson Palmer a player on the outside for his final season.
14. Philadelphia Eagles: Derek Barnett, DE
The Eagles need another edge rusher and the last time they drafted one out of Tennessee it seemed to pay off.
15. Indianapolis Colts: Charles Harris, OLB
Colts could be looking to trade down to get more picks but if they don't they take the best player available in Harris.
16. Baltimore Ravens: Reuben Foster, LB
Foster failed a drug test and was kicked out of the Combine because of his attitude. Sounds like the perfect LB for the Ravens!
17. Washington Redskins: Dalvin Cook, RB
When all is said and done Cook will be the best RB in this class.
18. Tennessee Titans: Marlon Humphrey, CB
Titans are in desperate need for corners.
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: O.J. Howard, TE
Jameis Winston gets himself another weapon.
20. Denver Broncos: Garett Boles, OT
Crazy to think the first offensive tackle taken in the draft would be this late but the Broncos get their guy in Boles.
21. Detroit Lions: T.J. Watt, DE/OLB
JJ's brother gets scooped up because the Lions are in desperate need of an edge rusher.
22. Miami Dolphins: Jarrad Davis, LB
Dolphins are looking for the best available LB and Davis fits the description.
23. New York Giants: Ryan Ramczyk, OT
The Giants want Boles so they could trade up to get him. If not they take the next best offensive tackle in Ramczyk.
24. Oakland Radiers: Zach Cunningham, LB
25. Houston Texans: Patrick Mahomes, QB
Texans surprise everybody by passing on Deshaun Watson to take a local kid in Mahomes.
26. Seattle Seahawks: Obi Melifonwu, S
Love this kid at safety. Athleticism is through the roof.
27. Kansas City Chiefs: Forrest Lamp, OG
The best guard in the draft gets scooped up.
28. Dallas Cowboys: Adoree Jackson, CB
Cowboys reach with this pick but even if Jackson never amounts to anything as a corner he could still be a hell of a returner.
29. Green Bay Packers: Joe Mixon, RB
The Packers got a puncher's chance here with Mixon.
30. Pittsburgh Steelers: DeShone Kizer, QB
The Steelers know all about Kizer and have been scouting him extensively, more than any other team reportedly. He will get a chance to be Roethlisberger's backup or maybe a starter if Big Ben chooses to retire.
31. Atlanta Falcons: Taco Charlton, DE
As a Falcons fans I would be ecstatic if Taco falls this far to them. Atlanta is in need of edge rushers and Taco certainly fits the description.
32. New Orleans Saints: Deshaun Watson, QB
Saints need to find an eventual replacement for Drew Brees and Watson is the best available if they decide to stick with this pick and not trade down.
I think it's safe to say Toronto Blue Jay's Chris Coghlan slide/dive last night in St. Louis over Yadier Molina is in the pole position for MLB play of the year. If one of us mere mortals even attempted such a slide good chance we would end up with a broken neck.In case you missed Chris Coghlan's dive into home plate last night... pic.twitter.com/cgnllS9m34— Norm Kelly (@norm) April 26, 2017
I think it's safe to say we have reached peak Jim Harbaugh. The Michigan football coach gave "His Holliness" Pope Francis a full size Michigan football helmet and a classic pair of Maize and Blue Air Jordans at the Vatican with his football team. I'm actually more shocked Harbaugh didn't offer the Pope a warm glass of milk.
You gotta give credit where credit is due: Harbaugh is one of a kind. Despite his winless record vs Ohio State he's getting people to talk about Michigan football around the world. That in itself is a holy miracle considering they got one split national championship in the last 70 years!
Harbaugh doing God's work...
Notre Dame football completed spring camp with their final practice, the 15th, in the annual Blue-Gold game at Notre Dame Stadium on Saturday. After the long 4-8 season of 2016 it was refreshing to see Notre Dame not lose.
In all seriousness there were a lot of bright spots for ND.
The two QBs, Brandon Wimbush and Ian Book, while wearing no contact red jerseys both performed admirably. Wimbush is the presumed starter and he showed off some NFL throws to WR Chase Claypool. Wimbush was a little inconsistent with a couple of turnovers but I think a large part of that was the red jersey messing with his routine. Book was excellent and the rising sophomore looked very capable of handling the back up duties this fall. I had to do a couple of double takes because I thought Johnny Manziel decided to come back to college and be the backup QB at ND. Book was that good with his throwing (much better arm than I anticipated) and accuracy along with reading the defenses and making quick decisions. The backup QB spot is in good hands with Book.
I also thought the RB trio of Josh Adams, Tony Jones Jr., and Dexter Williams provided a much needed balance to the offense. All three ran with purpose and had individual highlight plays.
I was also extremely impressed with the receiving core. Claypool, Equanemious St. Brown, and Miles Boykin all started at the X, Y and Z positions and caught everything from what I recall. Each one of them is over 6'4 and I'm starting to get 2005 flashbacks with Brady Quinn throwing the ball up to the likes of Jeff Samardzija, Maurice Stovall and Anthony Fasano. The tight ends also looked tremendous with Alize "Return of the Mack" coming off his academic suspension and basically being unstoppable.
The defensive line to my surprise provided consistent rush to the QBs accounting for 9 sacks total. Remember the QBs had no contact red jerseys so as soon as the defender was close it was ruled a sack. Rising sophomore Daelin Hayes was a monster and looked like the 5-star prospect coming out of high school. Daelin had 3 sacks and Jay Hayes (no relation) also had a couple from what I recall.
The linebacking core played great and instead of engaging with blockers they actually played downfield for a change. You can tell new defensive coordinator Mike Elko has made a huge difference in the mentality of the defense. Guys like Nyles Morgan (tremendous trucking of All-American left guard Quenton Nelson) and Greer Martini were unstoppable at times and rover Drue Tranquill looked like a Harrison Smith clone out there.
The secondary also played well and picked up some turnovers. It's refreshing to see ND have a lot of depth on the back end of the defense and despite some missed tackles I thought they played extremely well.
Also Jonathan Doerer, the freshman kicker brought in for insurance in case Justin Yoon can't kick this fall, showed a consistent leg and nailed all of his field goal attempts in the middle of the uprights.
The only knock I had on the team was the play of the offensive line which is suppose to be a strength. Offensive line coach Harry Hiestand looks like he has some problems on the right side of the line where DE Daelin Hayes was basically having a field day in the backfield. They got plenty of time to correct those mistakes though as the season is still 120 plus days away.
Overall I liked what I saw from the glorified practice scrimmage. You can tell the coaching changes have helped and I love seeing Chip Long use the tight ends more while also having the QB line up behind center and have some two-back sets. I don't see any reason with the starting and second string talent why Notre Dame can't break many offensive records this year. The tackling still needs work but I thought the defense played fast. Still need to get more consistent effort from the likes of Jerry Tillery and Daniel Cage in the middle and I think with freshman Darnell Ewell coming in summer will help push their effort level.
If you recall Stokke went viral back in high school a few years ago for her incredible looks as a pole vaulter with this single picture:
Not to be outdone Fowler posted on his Instagram too a picture with Stokke with the caption "I won!"
This is a match made in sports heaven. You gotta a guy who is really good at getting his balls into a little hole with a woman who knows how to handle a long pole. In the meantime lets take a look at some more pictures of Stokke for "research purposes."
Oh MadBum you crazy mother fucker. It's bad enough the San Francisco Giants are sitting at 6-10 on the season but now they just lost their ace for 6-8 weeks because of a fucking dirt bike crash on their off day. I'm sure the Giants and their fans are happy about it.
But honestly if you could think of one baseball player doing something like this I think one of the first names that would pop up is an admitted redneck like Madison Bumgarner. He was probably riding the dirt bike and saw some harmless dude with a Dodgers hat smile at him and swerved while shouting "DON'T LOOK AT ME!" and BAM...shoulder AC sprain and his season is basically fucked.
Oh well. Just gives me more of a reason to sell more of the #DON'TLOOKATME shirts!
By the way you can buy them here...just saying.
Someone please remind me again how Georgia lost to this Vanderbilt team at home on homecoming? A Vandy team that makes sorority parody videos during spring practice. No lie I chuckled a couple of times at the Anchor Down lines and one of my littles but it didn't make me laugh nearly as much as watching LB Zach Cunningham tackle little guy Isaiah McKenzie on 4th and 1 for a loss instead of going to Nick Chubb or Sony Michel. That's not smart football Kirby (pun intended).