Model Ashley Graham just nonchalantly pumping breast milk in an Uber while on Instagram

Just another day on the internet. As you can see "model" Ashley Graham posted an interesting Instagram story today. She's in the back of an Uber with her massive jugs hanging out just pumping them away before they "explode." I don't even know if this is proper Uber etiquette but I got no issue with it. Free the milkjugs.

Get the official "Drink Like A Champion Today" shirt here!

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Incredible sports moment as Zamboni driver David Ayres makes his emergency goalie NHL debut at 42-years-old and picks up the win for Carolina

This is what movies were made for. David Ayres, a 42-year-old Zamboni driver, made his NHL debut as an emergency goalie for the Canes the other night in Toronto and picked up the win. It's just an incredible story. Who would have ever thought it was even possible. It would be like the Atlanta Braves letting me catch because their two catchers got hurt. No one would believe it. But dreams do come true and for Ayres he is now a media sensation with his own shirt that's gone viral.

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Jose Altuve greeted with a thunderous amount of boos in his Spring Training debut while also suffering his first bean ball

And so it has begun.  Previous fan favorite Jose Altuve was greeted with a chorus of boos today as fans are gonna let the Houston Astros have it all season long.  Later in the game Altuve was hit with a breaking ball on his foot so it was hardly retaliatory.  But the over/under of 83.5 bean balls Vegas has for the Houston Asterisks seems really low right now.  I would go ahead and bang on that trash can as soon as possible if you know what I mean because that is a meat bet.

In the meantime go ahead and order the official SportsCrack Houston Asterisks shirt as seen here.  There is no better shirt to wear especially when the Astros come to town.

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Michael Jordan creates another crying meme at the Kobe Bryant ceremony

The greatest basketball player of all time doing it again. Michael Jordan recreated his viral crying meme with a tear jerker today in memory of Kobe Bryant.

"I’m gonna have to look at another crying meme… that is what Kobe Bryant does to me.” - Michael Jordan 

And honestly who can blame him? I didn't even know Kobe or his daughter and I think I've shed tears at least 5 times. Granted I'm a baby but I could only imagine the hurt those closest to Kobe and Gigi are going through.  RIP Mamba and Mambacita.  And thanks for the laughs MJ.  We needed it.

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Westworld : Official Season 3 Trailer released today and it's a must watch

I had to take a deep breath after inhaling this new Westworld trailer for season 3. March 15th can't get here faster. Shit we are looking at just over three weeks away! It looks like we got all the great characters back from the first two seasons and now we are gonna sprinkle in a little bit of that blue meth known as Jessie Fucking Pinkman which should absolutely blow our minds.

If season 3 lives up to the trailer's hype are we talking about Westworld as being one of the best television shows in history? Right now it's gotta be top 25 on my list. But if it wants to go up in the rankings it's gonna need to beat out some blue bloods and not just feast on FCS opponents. If it wants to be talked about as Tier 1 program Westworld Season 3 is gonna have to go out on the road and beat the likes of a Breaking Bad, The Wire, The Sopranos, Game of Thrones and Seinfeld among others.  That's no easy feat.

What if Season 3 is so great for Westworld we start talking GOAT shit about it?  Do we even see a season 4 or does it walk away knowing it's place in history?  If it happens then Aaron Paul knows he's the only actor to ever be on two top 5 programs.  That's big swinging dick shit right there.  That's scraping the ground with Moses Malone's third leg in the locker room legendary stuff right there.  One can only hope.

Speaking of GOAT get the official GEAUXT shirt here:

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Is Instagram model Hannah Palmer the hottest smokeshow on the planet?

According to science Instagram model Hannah Palmer is the hottest thing walking on the planet right now.  If you don't agree with science check out some of these examples...



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Still having your doubts about the 21-year-old Hannah Palmer being the hottest smokeshow on the planet? This should squash any doubts...

I can already hear the haters out there. "Yeah but she's obviously not real" and "she's more plastic than a Barbie doll" and you know what you couldn't be more wrong. Remember this is science we are talking about. You can't dispute it. To prove the doubters wrong Hannah heroically went out and got a breast exam to prove those babies are real.

So is Hannah Palmer in fact the hottest thing walking on the planet right now? Yes.  And don't even bother trying to argue it.  

Order the official Larry David 2020 Make America Pretty, Pretty Good Shirt Here:

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Houston Asterisks T-Shirts now for sale

Public enemy #1 in baseball deserves this shirt. The Houston Astros deserve an asterisk after cheating the game in 2017-2019. Buy the official Houston Asterisks shirt here!
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Fire Manfred T-Shirts now for sale

Now is your chance to get another original t-shirt.  Here is our "Fire Manfred" t-shirt in honor of the baseball commissioner who continues to give immunity to cheaters (Houston Astros) while the rest of the players and fans remain irate at his action.

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Hank Aaron thinks the people involved with the Houston Astros stealing signs scandal should be banned for life

Hammerin' Hank Aaron laying down the hammer on the Houston Astros.  While I think it might be a little extreme to ban them for life I do agree with the baseball legend that not enough was done to the Astros in light of the cheating scandal.  If you get caught cheating by purposely stealing signs using technology it's a permanent stain on the game.  It's not fair play and the Astros should have to give up their World Series pennant for cheating.  

The Astros fired their GM and manager and had to give up draft picks for the next two years but the players who did the actual cheating got immunity.  I'm talking players like Jose Altuve and Alec Bregman who didn't even bother to apologize aren't even facing any repercussions at all.  They get to skate free.  And it's bull shit.  They should at least face a suspension of a month.  Minimum.

What do you think about Hank Aaron saying they should be banned from the game for life?

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Patrick Mahomes catches and chugs a beer with the grace of a gazelle at the Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl Parade

Those hands of Patrick Mahomes are Charmin soft with cat-like reflexes.  It's no easy feat to catch a beer in a moving vehicle while some Kansas City drunk throws it to you like Reggie Ball on a crossing route to Calvin Johnson.  But Mahomes, the Super Bowl MVP winning QB at 24, handles it like the pro he is.  And not only does he catch it effortlessly he chugs the beer like a god damn Stone Cold Steve Austin maniac.

Don't change Mahomes.  Don't ever change.

Purchase the official "Mahomes Kelce '20" election shirt here:

Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce for President 2020 

Purchase the "The Great State of Kansas" shirt here:

Also check out this long completion to tight end Travis Kelce...

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