News / Tom Brady
As much as I wanted to avoid this whole Stormy Daniels - Donald Trump story because it has nothing to do with sports and because it was over 12 years ago well...today they released a sketch of the person who threatened Stormy to leave the Donald alone. And I'm not saying it's definitely 5-time Super Bowl Champ Tom Brady but it's definitely NOT not him.
Stormy says the guy who threatened her in parking lot in 2011 was a “well-dressed” guy. He said: “Leave Mr. Trump alone,” she says, and his face is burned into her memory.— MJ Lee (@mj_lee) April 17, 2018
He looks awfully familiar eh?
It’s all coming together pic.twitter.com/bE4GaMaAJB— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) April 17, 2018
Tom Brady and Donald Trump are close personal friends. Brady had been spotted with Trump many of times before he was elected president. But it wasn't till Stormy apparently didn't understand that "whore hush money" meant not to open your porn star mouth about taking the Donald's cock on the 19th hole.
"That thing we talked about with the thing. You know the thing in Vegas? It's done. The thing is done" pic.twitter.com/RJya6iL2sK— Stephen Miller (@redsteeze) April 17, 2018
I mean it could have been any athletic good looking guy who could have threatened Stormy Daniels. I mean Tom Brady has never had hair that matches the sketch. Or has he?
Tom Brady in 2011 pic.twitter.com/lvFYHoApRV— neontaster 🚟 (@neontaster) April 17, 2018
In conclusion Tom Brady tried to help protect his buddy Donald Trump by threatening a whore who is paid to have sex on camera to not talk about doing the deed with the Donald because she took and signed a confidentiality agreement not to open her whore mouth while getting paid very well to do so. It's a love story that only Shakespeare could write.
I don't want to sound like a prude but even Jerry Sandusky got a little uncomfortable with Tom Brady's son going in for seconds with a kiss that seemed way too passionate for any, you know, normal human being.
Not only is Tom Brady the greatest QB of all-time with his five Super Bowl rings but apparently he's the greatest at letting a grown man massage him while making out with his son on camera. Again these are perfectly normal activities and I am in no way judging Brady for tongue fighting his young son. I mean you can only imagine what goes on when cameras aren't around if this kind of shit is "normal" in the Brady household. Gotta cringe when Brady says to his son "what do I get" and "that was just a peck" in order for him to make out with his son. But then again with the recent scandals at Penn State and Michigan State it's only perfectly normal for a Michigan man like Tom Brady to keep the Big Ten rolling in the "To Catch A Predator" standings.
Now excuse me while I go bathe in vinegar. By the way Eagles win by 3 touchdowns now. No way Brady overcomes this. His legacy will always be remembered for frenching his son right before Super Bowl 52 and thus destroying the Patriots dynasty internally like his tongue in his son's mouth and soul.
PS I did some more research and it looks like Tom Brady likes to make out with all of his family members including his parents. Okey dokey.