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BREAKING: @kirkmin is reporting that Rob Gronkowski will be traded before the start of the 2018 season.

— Kirk & Callahan (@KirkAndCallahan) April 16, 2018

As soon as I saw this Rob Gronkowski tweet my eyes lit up and my grin was as wide as Jack Nicholson.

Gronk is the best tight end I've ever seen play the game of football.  He's 28 and coming off some injuries include the brain jiggly ones but I don't care.  If I have a need at tight end I'm going out and getting Gronk.  

It was almost a decade ago the Atlanta Falcons were struggling to find a tight end to fit in with the offense for young QB Matt Ryan.  They went out and traded a conditional draft pick for what was perceived as a "washed up" tight end out of Kansas City in Tony Gonzalez.  Yes future 1st ballot Hall of Famer Tony G for a conditional draft pick.  Crazy as it seems now Tony G made a huge difference on those Falcons teams and he was 33 when he came over to Atlanta.  

If I'm Atlanta I try to make history repeat itself.  The Falcons keep putting up this bull shit facade with Austin Hooper being a NFL starter.  He's not.  In fact he's not even an average tight end and it's killed the Falcons red zone offense.  Everybody doubles Julio Jones because they know the tight end position isn't a reliable red zone target.  That needs to change immediately if the Falcons ever want to get back to the Super Bowl.

Gronk is talking about retiring and getting in the entertainment industry aka Hollywood but I think right now he's just sick of Bill Belichick's shit.  Gronk needs a change of scenery.  He also wants a new contract.  The Patriots will go back to mediocrity after 2018 because I believe it's the last one for Belichick in New England.  And it wouldn't surprise me if Tom Brady decides to retire once Belichick is done.  Gronk is coming off a 1000 yard season and should hold significant trade value despite his history of injuries.

I would think a 2nd round pick is fair, perhaps late 1st.

With all that said watch the Cleveland Browns trade one of their 1st rounders to New England while the Patriots continue to play chess amongst checker players.

 

 

Seriously it's only been two weeks but what can't Shotime do? I'm starting to think Shohei Ohtani might be the best ball player in the game. Dead serious. You see how effortless it looks? Ohtani is only 23 years-old but with those young giraffe legs he simply glides to 3rd base on a three-run triple that broke open a close game in Kansas City last night. I think he only took about 12 steps with his stride.

Earlier during the day in batting practice he was asked for his bat from a young fan.

“Can I get your bat?”

Ohtani laughed, and then left the field after signing autographs. pic.twitter.com/deQFmXYOXg

— Joon Lee (@iamjoonlee) April 12, 2018

Ohtani could have shrugged off the kid like so many ballplayers do these days. But in true Mike Trout fashion he came back and actually gave the kid one of his bats including an autograph on it. If you have seen how much Ohtani signatures on baseball cards ($5000 and up) are going for you can only imagine how much a game used bat signed by the one and only Shotime is worth. Essentially it's priceless for both the bat and the fan.

AND THEN OHTANI CAME BACK TO THE FIELD AND GAVE LEO A BAT ! ! ! pic.twitter.com/e7QcGKOpv0

— Joon Lee (@iamjoonlee) April 12, 2018

So all in all another stellar day for Shohei Ohtani. He got a lifetime fan and his first career triple. And the Halos picked up another W and for now look like a serious contender for the AL West division with Ohtani doing his best Shotime.

GET THE OFFICIAL SHOTIME SHIRT HERE!

Hey @Bharper3407, one hair dryer wasn't enough? 😂 pic.twitter.com/l8hbpUWI7E

— Bryan Harper (@BryanHarper45) April 11, 2018

With a mop that permeates off Bryce Harper's head it's not surprising he needs a couple of hair dryers to keep the flow going strong. Harper was caught by his brother Bryan (no doubt Dad calls the brothers the wrong name all the time) in mid blow dry at what appears to be some shitty hotel with only two hair dryers.  I've never actually seen someone two fist hair dryers at one time so this was a little bit shocking.  Not a shocking walk in and seeing your parents doing it shock but more of a shocking when you see a guy putting on women's panties shock.  We know it happens but we just choose or deny wanting to see it.  And since Harper is Mormon we are much more likely to see him two fisting his hair then a couple of cold Natty's on a hot summer day.

Harper can do what ever the fuck he wants to do with his hair as long as he keeps mashing like he has this season.  In his walk year from the Washington Nationals (calling it now he will be a Cubbie) he's going to be able afford to buy the CONAIR corporation with the massive contract he gets this offseason.  So keep it flowing Bryce you wonderful Lion mane beast.  But remember Bryce no matter how much conditioner, product or hair dryers you use you will never come close to the flow that is the great Dansby Swanson.

Let's check in on Shooter McGavins Masters weekend @ForePlayPod pic.twitter.com/DTF7ooe11O

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) April 10, 2018

I don't care what people say Shooter McGavin is a damn national treasure. Of course Shooter is ripping bongs with college kids during The Masters because that's what Shooter does. They aren't going to kick him off the tour. He's Shooter McGavin and the rest of the crowd can go back to their shanties. McGavin doesn't spend as much time in the sand as David Hasselhoff as Doug knows about, he just rips bongs and throws shooter signals out while yelling out "Fuck Yeah!" Shooter McGavin is one of the all-time great villains in not only a comedy but any movie.  Shooter eats pieces of shit for breakfast and rips bongs like a champion.

 

It's been just over a week in the 2018 season and I can say this: the Shohei Ohtani hype is 100% legit.  After a rather disastrous Spring Training both on the mound and at the plate Ohtani has shown that we put way too much stock in warmup games.  We got our first glimpse of "ShoTime" over a week ago when he made his MLB debut in Oakland.  Regularly hitting high 90's and mixing in a nasty sinker, Ohtani picked up his first win while hurling 6 solid innings.  The two-way sensation from Japan lived up to his Ruthian expectations by playing DH and hitting a HR in 3 straight games including his first at-bat in Anaheim.  Ohtani in his 2nd game at DH hit an absolute monster shot off 2-time Cy Young winner Cory Kluber with a swing that looked so effortless you would have thought ShoTime is already tired of the Southern California spotlight.  Not good with just hitting home runs and winning games on the mound, yesterday Ohtani flirted with perfection.  This time making his home pitching debut Ohtani retired the first 19 batters he faced while hitting triple digits on the radar gun.  And this was against the A's who just faced him a week ago.  Ohtani lost his perfect game in the 7th after giving up a single but still got the win after striking out 12 in 7 innings.

So far one week into his MLB debut Ohtani is 2-0 with a ridiculous 0.46 WHIP on the mound.  At the plate he has 3 homers and 7 RBIs in only 18 at-bats with a 1.310 OPS.  Yes it's early but those are Babe Ruth numbers and Shohei is doing things that haven't been seen since the Great Bambino was playing a century ago.

As you know the MLB season is a marathon and not a sprint so it will be fun to watch Ohtani make adjustments.  Hitters and pitchers will both have scouting reports on him as the season progresses and thus Ohtani will need to make changes when necessary.  But right now I can tell you Ohtani reminds me a lot more of instant impacts Hideo Nomo and Ichiro when they imported from Japan than the duds of Hideki Irabu and Kosuke Fukudome.

But so far under the bright lights of Southern California where stars shine so bright it looks like Shohei "ShoTime" Ohtani could be the brightest of them all.

 

SHOTIME Shirts available here!  Click to buy!

 

The "Japanese Babe Ruth" as the media called Shohei Ohtani this spring has more than lived up to the hype his first week in the MLB.  First he got the win on the bump vs the Oakland A's on Easter Sunday.  Ohtani pitched 6 innings and hit multiple 100's on the radar while striking out 6.  Just a couple of days later Ohtani went full "SHOTIME" mode by cranking a home run in his first at-bat at home for the Los Angeles Angels.  Ohtani added another home run a couple of days later, this time off of 2-time Cy Young winner Cory Kluber of the Cleveland Indians.  "Shotime" is the story of baseball so far this spring so it was only appropriate we do a shirt for the Japanese hero.

Order your SHOTIME Shirt here!

A post shared by SportsCrack LLC (@sportscrack) on Apr 9, 2018 at 8:05am PDT

NFL-USO Tour, Day 2: Versatile @Saints back @MarkIngram22 decided to test his luck against a security work dog here at Italy’s Aviano Air Base.

Results: TROUBLESOME. 🐶 pic.twitter.com/WE9t34XfHu

— Marc Sessler (@MarcSesslerNFL) April 4, 2018

He may have millions and a Heisman Trophy in his backpocket but New Orleans Saints RB Mark Ingram didn't stand a chance against this Italian military dog.  With just a few weeks left till the NFL Draft the Saints might want to look into getting a replacement for Ingram STAT.  That shoulder and arm looked like a Beggin' Strip to Cujo as he took Ingram to the ground.  I don't think Sean Payton approved of this offseason conditioning.  One thing I know is this is the first time a Dog has made a game winning tackle vs a Bammer in over a decade.

 

They have to make a movie about this. Full time accountant Scott Foster is 36-years-old and hasn't played competitive hockey for 15 years. Last night because he was the emergency backup goaltender he made his NHL debut. And to top it all off he made all 7 saves and got the #1 star of the game. Are you kidding me?

First off I had no idea NHL teams had emergency backup goaltenders. It's basically a designated guy who goes to the game, gets some free food in the press box and watches the game. To be able to play you would have to have both goaltenders, in this case the Chicago Blackhawks starter and backup, go down with injuries. Well it happened last night in Chicago and Foster got to have his dream completed. Now imagine the ice cooler talk in his accountant offices today? Talk about an all-time story.

Golden Tate, Wide Receiver, United States of America 🇺🇸@lacesoutshow

A post shared by Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) on Mar 27, 2018 at 2:59pm PDT

Look at those velvet hands. Even in the dead cold Whistler Ski resort air Lions receiver Golden Tate shows why he has the best set of hands in the NFL. Like a bear catching a salmon upstream Golden snagged a cold one in midair and slugged it faster than you can say "USA!" The American flag jumpsuit completes Golden's mission for Team America and he can now return from America's hat.