Is This Florida Head Coach Jim McElwain Naked, Humping a Shark?

It's one thing to be the head coach of the Florida Gators and look goofy as your team gets it's ass kicked once again in the SEC Championship by Alabama but Jim McElwain is taking it to a whole other level with this viral picture.  

Now Florida and McElwain have come out and flat out denied it's him but we all know it's him.  If it walks, talks and smiles like a shark fucker it's definitely McElwain.

You can't look at this face and say that's not a shark diddler:

Those teeth and that shit eating grin are dead give aways for a person who likes to catch sharks, get naked, and hump them.  These are stone cold facts just like Aaron Hernandez and Tim Tebow were gay lovers in Gainesville.  You can't fight what the heart wants and we all know Florida is filled with shark fuckers.
Gotta love the social justice warrior aspect of this.  How dare this man get naked and hump a man eating shark!  Leave McElwain and his shark passion alone.
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Check Out the new Aaron Judge T-Shirt called "JUDGEment Day"

I know what you are thinking.  How can any shirt be more perfect than this "99 JUDGEment Day" tee that SportsCrack is offering?

And the answer is no.  This is the perfect t-shirt for any New York Yankees fan or Aaron Judge fanatic.

Live look in as people first lay their eyes upon this epic shirt:

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Julio Jones posts Falcons Offseason Workout Video on Twitter

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Manny Machado goes on Epic Rant After Red Sox Throw At Him Again

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Lane Kiffin Getting Philosophical on Twitter with Sand Question

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Falcons 1st Round Pick Takkarist McKinley Gets Emotional and Drops a F-Bomb on Live TV

When this happened live last night I cringed when UCLA LB/DE Takkarist McKinley dropped the "god damns" and "fucking" words on live television after being picked by the Atlanta Falcons.  But after watching it a few times I'm getting goose bumps about the kid because of the energy and passion he brings.  Can you imagine how hyped up Takk is in the locker room?  Takk would run through a wall "to get to the damn quarterback" and I believe that.  He's the perfect compliment to NFL sack leader Vic Beasley on the other side and the Falcons under Dan Quinn are building a young defense for the ages after nailing all their defensive picks the last two years.

Check out Quinn's reaction after he gets off the phone with Takk...


Quinn's fist pump tells me all I need to know.  The Falcons just got a guy who has a lot of dog in him and will do everything to get to the quarterback.

My Grade: A+

PS - Also I gotta do a "Fine Me Later, Man!" shirt.


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DeShone Kizer Explains "Cam's Body/Brady's Mind" Comment on Dan Patrick Show

It will be interesting to see where Notre Dame quarterback DeShone Kizer gets drafted.  Less than 6 months ago he was being touted as the #1 overall player.  Now he has to clarify quotes he made about having Cam Newton's body with Tom Brady's mind.  Not the best look by any means but I get what Kizer is saying: he wants to be the best of both.  

Now I've seen guys like Mel Kiper aka "draft expert" say he's only the 6th best QB in this class.  That's crazy talk when you think Kiper is a self proclaimed Notre Dame fan and he has Kizer ranked behind Tennessee's Joshua Dobbs.  In what world is Dobbs the better QB?  I honestly don't see one attribute or skill in which Dobbs is superior to Kizer.

Looking back at this whole process this could turn out to be a blessing for Kizer.  Instead of getting drafted high by a perennial losing franchise like the Browns or Jaguars he could get scooped up by a winning franchise like the Pittsburgh Steelers and given an actual shot at success in the near future.


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2017 SportsCrack NFL Mock Draft

Finally after months of conjecture, rumors and talking heads with their hot takes we are here: the NFL Draft starts tonight.

Here is my mock draft which mocks all the rest while wearing moccasins because that's what Johnny Moxon would do at West Canaan.

1.  Cleveland Browns: Myles Garrett, DE

This is the day all Cleveland fans dread.  The NFL draft is just further reformation your franchise is in a never ending shitter.  But I will say Garrett is the best pick here and could be the most "safe" pick.  He's a day one starter.  Don't fuck it up Cleveland and draft a QB.

2. San Francisco 49ers: Jamal Adams, S

This pick right here tells you how bad of a QB draft this is.  The Browns and 49ers are both in desperate need of a QB and neither will touch one.  

3. Chicago Bears: Soloman Thomas, DE

Don't laugh but from all the videos I've seen I think Thomas is the better pick over Garrett.  Bears get themselves another Richard Dent with this pick.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars: Leonard Fournette, RB

I'm not high on Fournette and personally I would rather have Dalvin Cook if I'm picking a RB but the Jaguars seem to be all in for BUGA.

Leonard Fournette BUGA Shirt 

5. Tennessee Titans: Mike Williams, WR

Titans need to get Marcus Mariota a legit receiver and if you watched the National Championship game you will have noticed Clemson's Williams dominate Bama's stellar secondary.

6.  New York Jets: Christian McCaffrey, RB

Ed's son can basically do it all on offense and will be called upon in the city that never sleeps.  No pressure... just don't fuck it up.

7. Los Angeles Chargers: Jonathan Allen, DE/DT

LA's newest team gets a bit of luck as Bama's Allen slips to them at lucky number 7.

8. Carolina Panthers: Malik Hooker, S

Some people have compared this Hooker to Ed Reed which seems a little call girlish and premature personally.

9. Cincinnati Bengals: Marshon Lattimore, CB

It's only a matter of time before Pacman Jones spits, kicks, punches, shoots or abuses some other person so you need a backup plan.  Lattimore grades out as the top corner in the draft.

10. Buffalo Bills: Kevin King, CB

The Bills want Lattimore to replace Stephon Gilmore but with him gone the pick before they go with the 2nd corner on their board in King.

11. New Orleans Saints: Haason Reddick, LB

Did you know that Reddick was a fucking walk on at Temple?  Crazy right?  Now here he is getting drafted in the first round.

12. Cleveland Browns: Mitchell Trubisky, QB

We finally get a QB picked and of course it's the Browns who do it.  Poor little Mitchell Trubisky has no chance of winning in Cleveland.  At least he will have a lot of money to drown those sorrows.

13. Arizona Cardinals: Corey Davis, WR

Fitzgerald is no spring chicken and Michael Floyd is still driving drunk somewhere so the Cardinals need to get Carson Palmer a player on the outside for his final season.

14. Philadelphia Eagles: Derek Barnett, DE

The Eagles need another edge rusher and the last time they drafted one out of Tennessee it seemed to pay off.

15. Indianapolis Colts: Charles Harris, OLB

Colts could be looking to trade down to get more picks but if they don't they take the best player available in Harris.

16. Baltimore Ravens: Reuben Foster, LB

Foster failed a drug test and was kicked out of the Combine because of his attitude.  Sounds like the perfect LB for the Ravens!

17. Washington Redskins: Dalvin Cook, RB

When all is said and done Cook will be the best RB in this class.

18. Tennessee Titans: Marlon Humphrey, CB

Titans are in desperate need for corners.

19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: O.J. Howard, TE

Jameis Winston gets himself another weapon.

20. Denver Broncos: Garett Boles, OT

Crazy to think the first offensive tackle taken in the draft would be this late but the Broncos get their guy in Boles.

21. Detroit Lions: T.J. Watt, DE/OLB

JJ's brother gets scooped up because the Lions are in desperate need of an edge rusher.

22. Miami Dolphins: Jarrad Davis, LB

Dolphins are looking for the best available LB and Davis fits the description.

23. New York Giants: Ryan Ramczyk, OT

The Giants want Boles so they could trade up to get him.  If not they take the next best offensive tackle in Ramczyk.

24. Oakland Radiers: Zach Cunningham, LB

25. Houston Texans: Patrick Mahomes, QB

Texans surprise everybody by passing on Deshaun Watson to take a local kid in Mahomes.

26. Seattle Seahawks: Obi Melifonwu, S

Love this kid at safety.  Athleticism is through the roof.

27. Kansas City Chiefs: Forrest Lamp, OG

The best guard in the draft gets scooped up.

28. Dallas Cowboys: Adoree Jackson, CB

Cowboys reach with this pick but even if Jackson never amounts to anything as a corner he could still be a hell of a returner.

29. Green Bay Packers: Joe Mixon, RB

The Packers got a puncher's chance here with Mixon.

30. Pittsburgh Steelers: DeShone Kizer, QB

The Steelers know all about Kizer and have been scouting him extensively, more than any other team reportedly.  He will get a chance to be Roethlisberger's backup or maybe a starter if Big Ben chooses to retire.

DeShone Kizer Shirt

31. Atlanta Falcons: Taco Charlton, DE

As a Falcons fans I would be ecstatic if Taco falls this far to them.  Atlanta is in need of edge rushers and Taco certainly fits the description.

32. New Orleans Saints: Deshaun Watson, QB

Saints need to find an eventual replacement for Drew Brees and Watson is the best available if they decide to stick with this pick and not trade down. 



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Chris Coghlan Pulls His Best Willie Mays Hayes Slide with this dive over Yadier Molina

I think it's safe to say Toronto Blue Jay's Chris Coghlan slide/dive last night in St. Louis over Yadier Molina is in the pole position for MLB play of the year.  If one of us mere mortals even attempted such a slide good chance we would end up with a broken neck.
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Jim Harbaugh Gives the Pope a Michigan Helmet and a pair of Air Jordans


I think it's safe to say we have reached peak Jim Harbaugh.  The Michigan football coach gave "His Holliness" Pope Francis a full size Michigan football helmet and a classic pair of Maize and Blue Air Jordans at the Vatican with his football team.  I'm actually more shocked Harbaugh didn't offer the Pope a warm glass of milk.  

You gotta give credit where credit is due: Harbaugh is one of a kind.  Despite his winless record vs Ohio State he's getting people to talk about Michigan football around the world.  That in itself is a holy miracle considering they got one split national championship in the last 70 years!

Harbaugh doing God's work...




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