OUT OF CONFERENCE BLOCKBUSTERS OF THE YEAR

10. GEORGIA TECH @ NOTRE DAME, 9/1 - Who will be starting at quarterback for the Irish when they rematch against Tech’s quick and agile defense? Taylor Bennett looked great in Tech’s bowl game last year replacing the pathetic Reggie Ball. This game should be close again before the Yellow Jackets move on to challenge for the ACC crown. PLAYER TO WATCH: Georgia Tech RB, Tashard Choice.

9. ALABAMA VS. FSU (IN JACKSONVILLE), 9/29 - The first annual bullshit artist convention kicks off in Jacksonville with Nick Saban and Bobby Bowden hooking up for a football game. FSU doesn’t have a prayer if senior QB Drew Weatherford can’t get his game together. Bama has weapons. PLAYER TO WATCH: Alabama WR, DJ Hall.

8. SOUTH FLORIDA @ AUBURN, 9/8 - Some people don’t give South Florida a chance here. I am not one of those people. Auburn doesn’t seem to want to improve and South Florida will be mighty hungry for some Big East respect in an SEC environment. PLAYER TO WATCH: South Florida QB, Matt Grothe.

7. OREGON @ MICHIGAN, 9/9 - A battle of two big time schools and big time running backs. Jonathan Stewart versus Mike Hart. It should be a well-played game in the Big House. PLAYER TO WATCH: Michigan WR, Mario Manningham.

6. LOUISVILLE @ KENTUCKY, 9/15 - I know, Kentucky? Football? Tim Couch? Andre Woodson can throw his hat into the Heisman race very early if he can orchestrate a win against their instate basketball rival. Louisville better take this game very, very seriously. PLAYER TO WATCH: Louisville WR, Mario Urrutia.

5. NOTRE DAME @ MICHIGAN, 9/15 - There is a rumor that Michigan doesn’t want to play Notre Dame anymore. They’d rather play Vanderbilt at home every September. Hail to the Vaginas! PLAYER TO WATCH: Notre Dame S, Tom Zbikowski.

4. TCU @ TEXAS, 9/8 - Another game people are overlooking a bit. TCU can play defense with any team in the nation and Colt McCoy is a college superstar. Whichever Texas team comes out of this game alive will be looking mighty fine to play for a national title. PLAYER TO WATCH: TCU DE, Tommy Blake.

3. USC @ NEBRASKA, 9/19 - It will be interesting to see these two hook up in Lincoln. I hope that there will be some snow and a bitter cold for those surfer dudes from Southern Cal. It will be a harsh environment the Trojans haven’t seen in years. PLAYER TO WATCH: Nebraska QB, Sam Keller.

2. TENNESSEE @ CALIFORNIA, 9/1 - Last year the Vols stunned a lot of people who had Cal winning the Pac-10 last year. The game is at Berkley this time and you know how bad the weed will tempt Tennessee. I see revenge in Cal’s future. PLAYER TO WATCH: California WR, DeSean Jackson.

1. VIRGINIA TECH @ LSU, 9/8 - To me, this game is huge. The Hokies are clearly the favorites in the ACC and LSU won’t skip a beat replacing the number one NFL pick…I forget his name. It’s down in Baton Rouge. It’s to top ten teams early in the season jockeying for championship position. It’s the ACC versus the SEC. There is no way the game will disappoint. PLAYER TO WATCH: Virginia Tech RB, Branden Ore.

OTHER INTERESTING MATCH-UPS

ILLINOIS VS. MISSOURI (IN SAINT LOUIS), 9/1 - I know what you are thinking, but these two schools actually have some entertaining aspects-the incoming freshman for Ron Zook and Chase Daniel for the Tigers. St. Louis has been waiting for this game for a long time, but now is as good a time as any.

OKLAHOMA STATE @ GEORGIA, 9/1 - The Dawgs defense is hurting and OK State can put up the points. This one could be over at halftime. I’m sure the people in Athens won’t mind, since they will be in an alcoholic coma by then.

ARIZONA @ BYU, 9/1 - The Wildcats are taking a chance going to play the Cougars. Those Mormons are pretty ruckus. However, Arizona is up and coming. They take this game.

MIAMI @ OKLAHOMA, 9/8 - Old 80’s powers collide. I got nothing else.

NEBRASKA @ WAKE FOREST, 9/8 - The Huskers better not look ahead to that big showdown at home. The Deacons are no easy task and will bring all they have to the Blackshirts.

TEXAS A&M @ MIAMI, 9/22 - The Hurricanes are rebuilding and doing it the right way with these tough games. If they want to be the Canes of old, they need to back down to no one and I mean on the field.

UPSET WATCH
WEST VIRGINIA @ MARYLAND, 9/13 - The Terps had a solid season last year and hope a little home cooking is all they need to upset a highly ranked neighbor. If there was ever a chance of starting a true rivalry an upset here would be more than adequate to light the fuse. Maryland’s team is very young and needs to find a QB since Sam Hollenbach is gone, but do have some offensive weapons to work with. I’m not saying they will win, but I’m saying it could be a good game.

THE PAYBACK IS A BIYATCH GAME
NOTRE DAME @ UCLA, 10/10 - It’s pretty much crap how there isn’t one person who mentioned last year’s UCLA @ Notre Dame game in Brady Quinn’s favor. The game was done and finished if it wasn’t for Brady. It was a last second Irish miracle and the Bruins went on to beat USC to keep the Trojans out of the BCS Championship game. Everyone just said it was a weak Bruin team and Brady had to salvage his game with those last few minutes. Anyway, UCLA is a very good team and I’m not sure how much of a chance the Irish have this year in Cali.

THE THUG GAME
FSU @ COLORADO, 9/15 - If there was ever a weekend to walk around with your thumb covering the hole of your beer bottle, ladies, this is it. A word of advice to you young gals: If there is any fizzing, extra bubbles, or a funny taste to your beverage, just get a new one and watch the bartender twist off the cap. Otherwise, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

THE WHY? GAME
BAYLOR @ BUFFALO - Who cares when this debacle will occur? It wouldn’t matter if it was the Buffalo Bills and Jim Kelly came back to take the snaps. I would like this game to be nationally televised so “Cooking Babies Curry Style” on PBS would beat them in the ratings. If college football was so hot, this game would sell. What a waste of a chance to play a Big 12 team for Buffalo and what a waste of a road trip for one of the worst “big conference” schools ever in football. It’s a lose-lose situation. Someone please fire those Athletic Directors!

IDIOT SCHEDULE
WASHINGTON - @ SYRACUSE, BOISE STATE, OHIO STATE, @ HAWAII - Like Tyrone Willingham doesn’t make it hard enough for himself, his AD goes out and adds these games to an already difficult Pac-10 schedule. Washington probably won’t be capable to make a bowl game with this laid in front of them. So long, Ty. Jim Mora…COME ON DOWN!!! You are the next coach of the Washington Huskies!

DRESS WEARING SALLY SCHEDULE RUNNER-UP
OHIO STATE SCHEDULED YOUNGSTOWN STATE, AKRON, @ WASHINGTON, KENT STATE - Florida just missed the cut because they at least had FSU on their schedule. The Big Ten isn’t that tough. Playing at Washington is a nice gesture, but give me a break! Youngstown State couldn’t tackle a paraplegic. Akron is a good opponent for girl scouts and Kent State might have a shot if they were meeting up for a tetherball match. This schedule is so soft its limp. This schedule couldn’t get a porn star off. Ohio State has finally beaten Florida…for the number two spot of the lamest excuse for an out of conference schedule. Enjoy losing to Illinois. Good work, losers.

DRESS WEARING SALLY SCHEDULE WINNER
ARKANSAS SCHEDULED TROY, NORTH TEXAS, CHATTANOOGA (IN LITTLE ROCK), FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL - Poised for a possible run at the national championship the Razorbacks will pad their won-loss record with some scintillating contests. Troy always plays bigger schools tough, but are not in the class of Arkansas. Wasn’t North Texas in that movie Necessary Roughness? I’m guessing Chattanooga doesn’t have a stadium and that is why they decided to keep this game in Arkansas. Nothing says recruiting like beating Chattanooga in your own state for an “away” game. And maybe their game with Florida International can lead off Sportscenter if they can all get in a spike stomping, helmet throwing, dreadlock dancing, brawl in the middle of the game. That is the best anyone can hope for playing these head-scratchers. Get ready for the Darren McFadden Heisman campaign. Be ready to marvel at the numbers he puts up over crap competition. See you in New York!
   

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