What in the hell happened to the ACC last season? It was like watching two retarded blindfolded midgets fucking in a tub full of mayonnaise. And don't even get me started with the ACC Championship game pitting...sorry, must hold in laughter...Wake Forest versus Georgia Tech. It was on par to watching George Bush stumble through speech lessons while Barbara bathed him before accepting his Republican nomination for President back in 2000.  Okay, I will try to stop ripping on the ACC. My late mother always told me it wasn't polite to make fun of "special" people like Bobby Bowden. Anyways, read on for a preview plus predictions.

THE ELITE TEAMS:

Georgia Tech-Only in a conference as shitty as the ACC can a team like Georgia Tech be considered elite. Don't get me wrong, I actually go to Tech football games because the tickets are so easy to get and they always play on Thursdays. But that is besides the point. Despite losing college football's best receiver of the past 10 years to the NFL and losing a four-year starter at QB, the Yellow Jackets are actually a better team. New QB Taylor Bennett played great in the Gator Bowl last season and got me wondering what in the bloody hell was coach Chan Gailey thinking keeping Reggie Ball in there all season. RB Tashard Choice(Oklahoma transfer) is back and should have a good season behind a veteran line that returns 4 starters.

The defense is one of the league's best led by Sportscrack first team All-American LB Philip Wheeler. The defensive line is one of the nation's best with Darrell Robertson, Darryl Richard(I'm expecting a huge season from him), and second team All-ACC Adamm Oliver all back. Throw in freshmen backups Derrick Morgan and Jason Peters and this group has plenty of depth and talent to compete with anybody. Defensive coordinator Jon Tenuta can scheme with the best of them and expect plenty of blitzes from the linebacker position.

The schedule starts off rough with a trip to Notre Dame and a third week home game against Boston College but if they can win both they have a good chance of being 6-0 heading into Miami on October 6th. That is if...and I mean a big IF... Chan Gailey doesn't fuck it up.  

Virginia Tech-The Hokies were suppose to be in a major rebuilding mode last season but still managed to win 10 games. Of course a lot of this season hinges on how well the Virginia Tech community responds to the unfortunate school massacre but my feeling is this season will be one of inspiration for the whole Hokie family. The team has plenty of talent including elite players such as RB Branden Ore and a steady group of receivers led by Eddie Royal and Josh Morgan. But enought with the offense because....

Defense wins championships. The Hokies have two of the nation's best linebackers in Xavier Adibi and Vince Hall and return 8 starters on a defense that was ranked #1 in scoring defense. No doubt about it the Hokies will have an excellent defense and we all know about Frank Beamer's special teams.

If Virginia Tech can somehow pull off the huge upset at LSU in the second week it will earn major kudo points for the ACC as a conference and should lead the Hokies to a big showdown against Georgia Tech on November 1st undefeated.  

THE CONTENDERS:  

Miami-These are not your same old Hurricanes. Sure they still have the same jackasses who stomp on the other team's logo at midfield but this team has no identity on offense. QB Kyle Wright is a bigger disappointment than the second Star War's trilogy and will have to battle it out with Kirby Freeman for the starter's position. The Co-Canes don't have enough skill playmakers at the RB and WR position to even come close to matching what they had at the turn of the century. A lot of people like RB Javarris James and say he is the next great Miami tailback. I say no fucking way is he even close to as talented as guys like Willis McGahee and Edgerrin James.

Miami always has a good defense and this year should be no different. Sportscrack All-American Calais Campbell is a stud who led the ACC in tackles for loss with 20.5 and will be the anchor of the defensive line. The linebackers are underrated and should play a lot better this season. The secondary returns four starters and features one of the nation's best safeties in Kenny Phillips.

Their schedule is brutal and I see losses at Oklahoma and Virginia Tech plus home games against Texas A&M and Georgia Tech. They certainly could win those games but I wouldn't get my hopes too high if I was a Canes fan with a new coach in Randy Shannon and too many question marks on offense. A 9 win season would be very respectable.  

Wake Forest-The Demon Deacons shocked the world last season and won the ACC which earned them a berth in the Orange Bowl. With a winning season, their first ACC winning record in 17 years, comes higher expectations. QB Railey Skinner is back after a storybook freshman season in which he went from bench scrub to getting more ass than a toilet in a Mexican restaurant. With 8 starters back on offense the team should improve on their rather piss poor scoring average of 21.6.

The defense lost it's best player in LB Jon Abbate due to an early NFL exit. In fact only 5 starters return to a defense that already surrendered a ton of yards last season. If Wake is going to compete again this season they will have to rely on some guys stepping up.

The schedule isn't bad with key games such as Nebraska, Florida State, and Maryland all at home. With Army and Navy on the schedule there is a good chance Wake could finish with at least 8 wins. Then again they could be one year wonders and suck ass. I say they get 9 wins with their schedule.  

Boston College-With 16 starters back from a 10-3 squad and a senior veteran QB leading the way you would think Boston College is elite right? Wrong, only because of Tom O'Brien departure to NC State. O'Brien has had the Golden Showers...err...Eagles playing way above their little second-rate Catholic school heads for years. I kid about the golden showers part Eagle fans. Anywho, QB Matt Ryan returns for his senior season and is everybody's darkhorse candidate for the Heisman. Okay, stop your laughter, I was kidding again Eagle fans. LT Gosder Cherilus is one of the nation's best and should protect Ryan's backside while also opening up holes for tailback L.V. Whitworth. With a veteran QB like Ryan the team should be able to score a lot of points, but then again I thought the Hawkeyes would do the same last season with Drew Tate at QB.

The defense returns 9 starters including their defensive coordinator. Head coach Jeff Jagodzinski brought back Frank Spaziani as DC because he is good at his job and earned the player's trust during his interim status as head coach in the Eagles win over Navy in the wonderful Meineke Car Care Bowl. If LB Brian Toal can come back from shoulder surgery then the Eagles will have one of the best defenses in the ACC. If he doesn't then there might be a period of adjustment.

Home games with Wake Forest, Miami, and Florida State should give them an advantage especially since the Red Sox season will be over by the time the two Florida schools come to visit. But with that being said I think the Eagles have a minimum of 4 losses which make them just a contender and not an elite team.  

Florida State-The Creminoles have struggled the past few seasons due to a horrific offense. Gone is daddy's little gopher boy Jeff Bowden and in comes Jimbo Fisher from LSU. Fisher's first job will be to revamp a running game that ranked 103rd in the nation last season despite having talent at the RB position. Word around Tallahassee is new offensive line coach Rick Trickett from West Virginia has ordered his line to lose a lot of pounds and fast. Rumor has it they have already lost 200 as a group. Only 300 more and they can reach Kirstie Alley's world record! The question remains as to who will be the QB and it appears Drew Weatherford has the early lead on Xavier Lee. Either one should be much improved with the tutelage of Fisher.

The defense lost some key players in LBs Buster Davis and Lawrence Timmons but have recruited plenty of talent to fill in the gaps. Roving safety Myron Rolle was one of the best at his position last year as a true freshman and will be a future captain for the group. Mickey Andrews usually always has his defense play up to high caliber and I don't expect things to change as he slowly turns into a thing resembling Golum.

The Seminoles usually always play a tough out of conference schedule and this year in no different with the exception of UAB and Colorado. I'm looking forward to seeing how they fair against Alabama in Jacksonville in what promises to be a huge redneck paradise game. A season ending trip to Gainesville could be murder. The Noles will be extremely lucky, as in Billy Bob Thornton getting to have sex scenes with Halle Berry while still banging Angelina Jolie lucky,to get to 10 wins this season. 

FALLING BACK TEAMS:

Clemson-The Tigers have 3 potential All-Americans in LT Barry Richardson and RBs James Davis and CJ Spiller. Other than the aforementioned the team is rather weak compared to the upper echelon of the ACC(is there such a thing?). Both lines are weak and an inexperienced QB put Clemson on the outside looking in.

Maryland-For some bizarre reason Friedgen's Terp teams have had a hard time scoring points. QB Jordan Steffy isn't very good and with LB Wesley Jefferson leaving to become a state trooper it leaves a hole at middle linebacker. Throw in out of conference games against Rutgers and West Virginia and the Terps will be lucky to match 9 wins of last season.

Virginia-The reason you are called Virginia is because you aren't good. Until the second coming of Herman Moore or Tiki Barber reemerge you will always be Virginia. 

SHIT COVERED WITH CHOCOLATE TEAMS:

NC State-Thank god they got rid of the gorilla coaching the team. I like RB Toney Baker but nothing else.

North Carolina-The Tar Heels will be good in the future under Butch Davis but not in his first season.

Duke-Why Notre Dame put the fucking Dukies on their schedule this season will never cease to amaze me.  

BEST GAME:

Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech (November 1st)-There is an outside chance both teams could be undefeated going into this matchup. An extreme outside shot.  

WORST GAME:

Duke at North Carolina (November 24th)-Both teams are not even top 80 teams so why would anybody actually pay money to see these two teams?  

MOST OVERRATED GAME:
Miami at Florida State (October 20th)-Always a sloppy affair between these two...I doubt it will be any better this season with new coaching staffs.

BEST OFFENSIVE PLAYER:
Clemson's halfback CJ Spiller wins it by default because the ACC is dominated by really good defensive players this season. But don't get me wrong, Spiller is a hell of a player and should continue to get paid really well at Clemson.

BEST DEFENSIVE PLAYER:
It is a tie between Georgia Tech linebacker Philip Wheeler and Miami defensive end Calais Campbell. Wheeler has a great motor for a linebacker and is a punishing tackler. Campbell is a beast of a defensive end who can get to the QB and should be a top ten pick in the 2008 NFL Draft.

BEST FRESHMAN:
North Carolina DT Marvin Austin has the perfect opportunity to step in and start for the Tar Heels. A huge specimen at 330 lbs, new coach Butch Davis' recruiting jewel should compete for immediate playing time and has the potential to be a superstar.  

MOST LIKELY TO GET ARRESTED:
Bobby Bowden will get caught talking to NBC's Chris Hansen on "How to Catch a Predator."  

MOST LIKELY TO GET FIRED:
Mr. Bowden after he is caught trying to fiddle young Timmy.  

PLAYER WHO WILL BE BETTER THAN WHAT PEOPLE THINK:
Georgia Tech DT Darryl Richard will have a monster season.  

DOESN'T MAKE SENSE AWARD:
Florida State and Miami football. With all the talent in Florida you would think these teams would win a minimum of 9 games each and every season. Not so much.  

THE WINNER IS:
Virginia Tech will be the feel good story in college football because of the tragedy and how the football team regrouped to bring home an ACC Championship.
   

You can email me your thoughts on the upcoming football season or voice your opinion on the messageboards. matt@sportscrack.com